doing it up, etc.

So yeah, I haven't updated this blog in a really long time. Granted, probably no one will ever read this. Still, I feel the need to type this out.

The past 5 months or so have been absolutely ridiculous in just about every way imaginable. I do indeed think that my increased drinking has contributed greatly to this. Everything just seems to be all out lately. Just go, go, go all of the time. I haven't gotten more than 5 hours sleep in a night in... probably a month now. I'm running on empty and I just keep on going. Fearing I'll reach the end of the tunnel sometime soon I get angry. I'm lashing out at people. Getting too damn excited, yelling, throwing things. I've never acted like that before, a brief psychotic break aside.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

That's not who I am, nor who I want to be.

I need help.